take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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