They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
