Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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