When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
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I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
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If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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