How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
