dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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