Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I met the friendliest cop last night
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
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Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
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They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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