I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
