He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ugly people sure do ruin things
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
