he told me I talked like a deaf person
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize