I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
