How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
