am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
