i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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