I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
