I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
