The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
