if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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