I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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