he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
