your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
