You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
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Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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