its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
