So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
