You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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