apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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