you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
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