Apparently you make a good broom.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
