Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
