after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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