Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
