dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
