dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
