I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
