3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
