She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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