She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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