Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
