My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
