Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
