walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
