What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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