I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
