tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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