it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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