I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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