i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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