non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
