well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
