His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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