Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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