I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
