If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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