she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
