Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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