the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
