All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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