Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
