In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
