we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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