if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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